Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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