So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
