I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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