he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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