Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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