Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
