Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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