Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
