No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
