she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
