Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize