Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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