we have pet lesbian snakes
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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