Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
