Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
