Buhtt sex?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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