Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
