I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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