i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I've blown a few things in my day
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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