WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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