i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
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If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
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No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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