Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Pants are for mortals
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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