I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
