and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
