Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
