Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Welp...herpes.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
