Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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