Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
