belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
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