hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
