just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
