and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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