So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
