maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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