When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Bang-toberfest begins!!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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