Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
