She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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