Non-Jews are for practice
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
