something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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