Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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