She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
