sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
