I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
