would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i believe in u and ur pee
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
