she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
