I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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