dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize