i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
