i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
