That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
As shirtless as possible
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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