ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
