just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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