When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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