I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
