GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
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