Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You don't make any sense
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