apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm both gender and math confused
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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