Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
